Mothers Day By Luciano Santini

Today is a very special day for all th emothers around the world. Todays is mothers day here in the United States of America. A little history on this special day.

I want to dedicate this day to my mother whom I miss so much and love so much. My beautiful mother passed away from cancer almost four years ago and seems like it was just yesterday.

The sky opened up to recieve a beautiful person into heaven where I know she is sitting looking down on me each every day and smiling down.

My wife the mother of my three boys. She is wonderful to me and to my boys. I know how difficult we can all be sometimes and yet she hangs in there for us.

 " A Mothers Smile Is What Tells A Child No Matter What You Do I Will Always Love You My Child"--Luciano Santini

She was a very special lady and the world lost someone who believed in her children always.  

 In the United States, Mother's Day started nearly 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community, a cause she believed would be best advocated by mothers. She called it "Mother's Work Day." 

Fifteen years later, Julia Ward Howe, a Boston poet, pacifist, suffragist, and author of the lyrics to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," organized a day encouraging mothers to rally for peace, since she believed they bore the loss of human life more harshly than anyone else. 

In 1905 when Anna Jarvis died, her daughter, also named Anna, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Legend has it that young Anna remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said, "I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers." 

Anna began to lobby prominent businessmen like John Wannamaker, and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honor mothers. At one of the first services organized to celebrate Anna's mother in 1908, at her church in West Virginia, Anna handed out her mother's favorite flower, the white carnation. Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mother's Day. 

In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday. 

At first, people observed Mother's Day by attending church, writing letters to their mothers, and eventually, by sending cards, presents, and flowers. With the increasing gift-giving activity associated with Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis became enraged. She believed that the day's sentiment was being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit. 

In 1923 she filed a lawsuit to stop a Mother's Day festival, and was even arrested for disturbing the peace at a convention selling carnations for a war mother's group. Before her death in 1948, Jarvis is said to have confessed that she regretted ever starting the mother's day tradition. 

Despite Jarvis's misgivings, Mother's Day has flourished in the United States. In fact, the second Sunday of May has become the most popular day of the year to dine out, and telephone lines record their highest traffic, as sons and daughters everywhere take advantage of this day to honor and to express appreciation of their mothers 

Copyright © 123Holiday.Net 

Luciano (The Key) Santini on CRITICISM

CRITICISM

Now how often do find ourselves dealing with someone criticizing you as an individual at one point in your life and yet you ignore the fact and you just keep it internally. Check out my show and you will find some techniques to fight back within yourself.

We all know someone or ourselves have been criticized or have criticized  someone in our lives and then we regretted it later because we know what we did; We always know what we do we just try to justify either by ignoring the fact or blaming someone or something else.

Many times we need to stop before we open our big mouths and think of the hurt that words can cause. As a life coach I can teach techniques to look at words for what they are just words however not everyone can shrug their shoulders and move forward. Certain people really take words to heart and allow themselves to be hurt deeply.

Examples of this is our children. They look up to us as parents and when we say words they stick in their minds like glue and sometimes if we take the time to watch you will see how they react to your words.

Gregg Walker, Dept. of Speech Communication, Oregon State University

Criticism may occur within conflict situations or can foster conflict.  Criticism, or the generation of "evaluative judgments," is often painful or difficult to "give" or "receive."  If handled appropriately by both the person criticized and the person being criticized, critical feedback can promote constructive growth in individuals and relationships.

Constructive Criticism - Some Assumptions
1.  Criticism arises out of interaction, rather than simply action.  Evaluation is important to improvement, but criticism should follow a "two way street."  Criticism is more valid when all parties involved interact both as the "critic" and the "criticized."

2.  Those who criticize need to value and invite criticism.  Criticism can be promoted if the critic first invites criticism of his or her own behavior.  By inviting criticism, a person can create a situation in which her or his criticism of another is perceived as appropriate.

3.  The "Critic" and "Criticized" guidelines t

hat follow are pertinent to all parties involved in "criticism" discussion. 

Constructive Criticism - Guidelines f

or the Critic
1.  Understand why you are offering criticism.  Feel confident that doing so is appropriate to the situation and constructive for the parties involved.  Criticism voiced out of self-interest or competition may be destructive.

2.  Engage in perspective taking or role reversal.  As you develop a criticism strategy or response, try to understand the perspective of the person being criticized.

3.  Offer criticism of the person's behavior, not on her or his "person."  Refer to what a person does, not her or his "traits," or "character." 

4.  Even though criticism implies evaluation, emphasize description.  Before offering any judgment, describe behavior you see or have experienced. 

5.  Focus your criticism on a particular situation rather than general or abstract behavior.  "Index" and "date" your criticism, much like a "journalist": deal with who, what, where, and when.

6.  Direct your criticism to the present ("here and now") rather than the past ("there and then"). 

7.  Emphasize in your criticism your perceptions and feelings.  Indicate what you think and feel about the other's behavior that you have described.  Use "I" statements. 

8.  Invite a collaborative discussion of consequences rather than offering advice.  Form a partnership to deal with problems.  Do not compete with the other party; compete with the other person against the problem. 

9.  Keep judgments tentative.  Maintain an "open door" of dialogue rather than presenting your "analysis" or "explanation" of another's behavior.

10. Present criticism in ways that allow the other party to make decisions.  Do not force criticism on the other.  Encourage the other to experience "ownership."  People are more likely to comply with solutions that they generate. 

11. Avoid critical overload.  Give the other an amount of critical feedback that she or he can handle or understand at that time.

12. Focus criticism on behaviors that the other person can change. 

13. Include in your critical feedback a positive "outlet."  Reinforce positive actions and invite the possibility of change.

14. Invite the other to present criticism of you. 

Constructive Criticism - Guildelines for the Criticized
1.  Recognize the value of constructive criticism.  Such criticism can improve relationships and productivity. 

2.  Engage in perspective taking or role reversal.  Try to understand the perspective of the person offering criticism. 

3.  Acknowledge criticism that focuses on your behavior.  Attempt to transform criticism that seems directed at your "person" to specific behavioral issues. 

4.  Listen actively.  Even though criticism may hurt, seek to understand accurately the criticism being presented.
    a.  Paraphrase what the other is saying.

    b.  Ask questions to increase understanding.
     c.  Check out nonverbal displays (check your perceptions). 

5.  Work hard to avoid becoming defensive.  Resist any tendency to want to dismiss criticism or retaliate. 

6.  Welcome criticism; use the criticism appropriate to improve. 

7.  Maintain your interpersonal power and authority to make your own decisions.  Criticism, when directed at one's "person," may weaken one's resolve.  Focus the other's criticism on your actions.  Seek ownership of solutions. 

8.  Seek constructive changes to the behavior that prompted the criticism. 

9.  Insist on valid criticism.  Valid criticism: (a) addresses behaviors, (b) is timely, and (c) is specific. 

10.  Communicate clearly how you feel and think about the criticism and receiving criticism.  Use "I" messages.